Commitments

Commit: the act of binding yourself to a course of action (WordNet by Princeton University)

As I've continued in my journey to make myself a better person, I've slowly learned an important lesson: commitments make or break a person.  In fact, I had an epiphany the other day: the measure of man is whether or not he keeps his commitments.  It might be said that salvation is gained or lost by whether or not we keep commitments.  Success and meaningful relationships depend on our commitments and happiness as a whole absolutely requires that we make commitments and then follow through with him.

Let me back up.  Today, we live in a world that tries to keep us commitment free.  I can sign up for internet, phone service, cable, etc without a contract.  Hollywood tries to show us that having sex outside of marriage (a committed relationship) is normal and ok.  TV shows depict people that break promises, lie, and deceive to get what they want.  Businesses go to great extents to make sure that contracts are written with exactness and without loopholes so that clients and financial partners are practically forced to keep their commitments.  Money, pleasure, and comfort are valued at a much higher level than promises.

To me, commitment is a direct form of honesty.  It is being bound by your word.  When you make a commitment, honesty is in your hands.  You are able to decide whether what you say is true and meaningful, or if it's dishonest and unreliable.  If I say I'm going to do something, I should make that thing a priority since I committed to it.  Doing so can directly affect how I view myself, how others view me, and how successful I will be in this life.

If I break a commitment, there are several implications.  First of all, I lied to the person that I committed to.  That may seem harsh when you're in the situation, but it's true.  Second of all, I have let myself down.  When you lie, you feel guilt and your self-esteem (the way you value yourself) goes down.  After all, my words had no value.  When what you say has no value, you start perceiving that you as a person don't have any value, and that's when bad decisions are made and bad habits form.

When you do keep a commitment, no matter how small it is, you have shown up for yourself!  What a novel concept!  It doesn't matter what the commitment was and who it was to, it was really about you.  You have showed yourself that it didn't matter what else came up or what else seemed important, your honesty and integrity was the most important.  When you take care of yourself by keeping commitments, your confidence goes up and you value yourself more.  Interestingly (yet obvious) enough, keeping commitments is one of the most important things for people recovering from any type of addiction.  When they keep commitments to themselves, they gain the confidence to live their lives without their addictive behavior, they value themselves more, and take care of themselves in a healthy way.  I believe keeping commitments directly affects a person's happiness and success in life.  You are valued more in any setting when it is known that you keep your word.

I had this epiphany the other day when I was talking to one of my friends.  He told me about a commitment that he made to himself the other day.  He reported to me that although he agreed to go to bed at a specific time, he missed that time by 7 minutes.  My immediate reaction was "What's the big deal?  That's pretty good!  You only missed it by 7 measly minutes!"  He saw that I clearly didn't get it.  He told me that it wasn't about the 7 minutes.  It was about the commitment.  He let himself down by not keeping his commitment.  It might as well have been 7 hours for him.  The lie was told 1 second after the time and he failed to show up for himself and he was not going to rationalize that away but minimizing HOW MUCH he broke his commitment.  He broke it and that was that.  He didn't beat himself up over it, but he held himself accountable, recommitted to his goal, and started following through.  I'll never forget that conversation.

Let me give another example to illustrate this point.  The example comes from the Book of Mormon.  For those that haven't read it, I'll try to be descriptive enough so you can know what's going on.

In the Book of Mormon there was a certain people that were blood thirsty, war hungry, brutal, and murderous.  Their weakness was violence and bloodshed.  When they were introduced to Christianity, however, they were truly converted and wanted to change their ways.  As a result of their conversion, they made a commitment to God.  They promised God that they would take their weapons of war and bury them, never to be touched again.

Think about this.  This was a time when people slept with their sword because the whole country could go to war at any given second.  They also used bows and arrows for hunting, axes to cut down trees, etc.  But all of that didn't matter.  They didn't try to rationalize an exception for when they could break their commitment, they just knew that they couldn't handle the weapons.  Period.  And they were true to their word.  Even when they their enemies were preparing to go to war against them, they still refused to even touch the weapons.  Rather than break their commitment, they kneeled down on the battlefield praying to God, and many were killed.

This is so interesting to me.  Many people in the Church of Christ at that time had weapons and went to war to defend their country, their faith, and their families.  It wasn't against the commandments to have the weapons.  In fact, it was just plain weird, even within the church.  But still, this people knew that they couldn't handle and instead of taking the risk of falling back into sin, they buried the weapons as a symbol of a commitment with God.

Why should things be so different with the commitments that we make today?  I strongly believe that integrity is earned by having a track record of keeping commitments, no matter how big or small they are, no matter how it might look to someone else, no matter what the cost is.  I will be the first to admit that I have not been a man of my word in the past, but I am striving to keep my commitments today.  Think about how different this world would be if people kept their commitments.  It would be amazing.

I challenge anyone who reads this to resolve that you will keep all of your commitments no matter what.  Keep your marital, educational, vocational, ecclesiastical, and personal commitments at all costs! If you do, you'll find a new confidence in yourself that will bring you happiness and success.